Remember when Indiana Rep. Bob Morris wrote that crazypants open letter to his fellow law makers claiming that the Girl Scouts of America is radical organization that sexualizes young girls and promotes homosexuality? (If you haven’t, I suggest you do. That piece of work in its entirety, here.) I am disappointed that he completely neglected to mention the role Girl Scout cookies play in America’s obesity crisis. They’re Killer Girl Scouts, people.
Kick the Can Ice Cream is a long-time GSA troop favorite. According to me, the only thing better than ice cream is homemade ice cream with a pro-abortion agenda. You can make modify this recipe to be as simple or decadent as you like and no special equipment is required. Grab a feminist/lesbian/Communist friend and get to it:
- 3lb coffee can with a plastic lid
- 1lb coffee can with a plastic lid
- Duct tape
- Crushed ice
- Rock salt (1 ½ – 2 cups)
- 1 cup milk
- 1 cup whipping cream
- 1/2 cup sugar
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
*For reduced fat ice cream, use lowfat or fat-free milk and half-and-half.
- Peach or strawberry ice cream – add 1/2 cup of fresh or frozen fruit , diced or pureed
- Chocolate – substitute chocolate milk for plain (or add 2 TBSP of chocolate syrup to the milk)
- Java – 1 tbsp instant coffee crystals for java ice cream
Take it over the top with mix-ins! Add 1/3 a cup any combination of the following:
- Candy pieces – chocolate chips, Snickers, Butterfinger, Twix, Reece’s Cups, Jr. Mint, Kit Kat, Whoppers, M & Ms, marshmallows
- Cookies - Oreos, Nutter Butters, Nilla Wafers, graham crackers, Cameos, oatmeal cookies, chocolate chip cookies
- Nuts- chopped pecans, almonds, walnuts, peanuts, macadamia
- Anything else that tickles your fancy – coconut, granola, dried fruit, etc
- Pour milk, whipping cream, sugar, vanilla extract, and flavorings, and mix-is in the 1lb coffee can. Stir well until combined. Secure the lid and seal well with duct tape.
- Place the 1lb can inside of the 3lb can and pack alternating layers of ½ cup crushed ice and ½ cup rock salt until you reach the top of the can. Seal the large coffee can lid with duct tape.
- Kick or roll the can (gently) back and forth for 20-30 minutes. The more movement, the better; it breaks down the ice crystals making for a smoother and creamier treat.
- Rinse the 3lb can in the sink with cold water. Then, remove the 1lb can and peel of duct tape and rinse that as well. Pat dry, and let firm in freezer for about 20 minutes before enjoying.