I have only had to deal with the nastiness of a yeast infection once due to a heavy duty course of antibiotics. There are lots of other causes, though—synthetic fabrics that don’t breathe well (I’m looking at you, pantyhose), dyes and perfumes in detergents and bath products, irritations caused by condoms and lubricates, too much friction during sexy time, a diet high in sugar, hormone fluctuations… Vaginal flora is delicate, ya’ll.
If you’ve never had one, thank your lucky stars; the itching and burning is all-consuming. My instincts told me to find a tree with rough bark to rub against for relief, but I went to the more socially acceptable route to the drugstore and picked out the most expensive one-day cure they carried.
I was allergic to the cream. I can only describe the level of swelling that occurred as Elephantiasis of the vulva. My lady business was so swollen, I could not wear pants or underwear and had to walk bow-legged until the Benadryl and ice packs took effect.
Once my lady business shrunk back to human proportions, I turned to the Internet for help. Google “natural yeast infection remedies” and you’ll get results. Some suggestions I dismissed entirely—like douches and DIY boric acid suppositories. Boric acid? Are you kidding me? I’m trying to kill candida yeast, not roaches. These all seem reasonable, though:
- Yogurt – eat it , apply it topically, freeze it into a soothing yogurt-sickle and insert (if it’s going near your bits, it has to plain, unflavored, no sweetener)
- Garlic – wrap a clove of garlic in cheese cloth or gauze and insert overnight
- Tea tree oil - Coat a tampon with a lubricant before adding a few drops of tea tree oil and insert or mix with olive oil or lubricant and apply topically.
- Apple cider vinegar – Drink 2 tsp per 8 oz of water, 3 times daily / Pour 2 cups in a shallow bath, soak for 30 minutes /Dilute 2 tbsps in 2 quarts of water, soak in cotton cloth and apply to affected area
I went with garlic because that’s what I had on hand. I didn’t have anything to wrap it in, so I didn’t bother. I also didn’t stop with one clove, because if one will do you good, more will do you better! That line of reasoning alone should clue you in to the fact that I am not in any way qualified to dispense medical advice. DIY at your own risk!
My crotch smelled like a basket of Olive Garden bread sticks, but you know what? It worked, and it worked overnight! If I ever find myself in such a yeasty jam again, I’d do the same thing. Here’s hoping it won’t ever come to that, though. Every bottle of antibiotics will be accompanied by a giant bottle of acidophilus pills (for all of the benefits of yogurt, minus the flavor).
Don’t let me be gross all by myself. Tell me your yeast infection horror stories!